Me and my girlfriend are really serious for each other. We have been going around from the past 2 years and want to get married. We haven’t had sex yet and we both are virgins. We both want to have sex but sometimes we think we should wait until after we marry. Do you think we can have sex? Is it wrong?
And could you please tell me how to arouse my girlfriend to the fullest? And if we plan to have sex how do we have sex can u please guide!
Your first experience of sexual intercourse is a major event in life. We will not discuss the obvious need to protect yourselves from the possibility of pregnancy; rather we assume you will do that and you can find out more about how in many different places on the Internet.
Consider that lovemaking to include sexual intercourse is at once, physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. The danger is that you only pay attention to the physical aspect as if that were all there was to it. But, because you are asking this question I am confident you will not do that.
The physical aspect is irresistibly immediate and dominant in your attention with no effort on your part at all. Be gentle with each other. Allow for the fact that you will both almost certainly feel shy, awkward and embarrassed. Laugh about the experience, before during and after, but NEVER make fun of each other; your egos will not likely stand up to such seemingly disrespectful behavior. But don’t make it into something grave and heavy, in spite of the fact that it is profound, accompanied by intense feelings, and fraught with danger.
From your question I’m assuming you love each other. Be sure to bring that love into the experience from beginning to end. You can’t tell each other too many times how much you mean to each other. For the male, it is particularly important to remind him, that as soon as he ejaculates he will feel like rolling over and going to sleep, or immediately jumping up to do something else. Doing so would be a big mistake. Take at least as much time talking about how much you love each other and how you plan to spend the rest of your lives together after the sexual intercourse ends as you did building up to the event.
Focus on giving and receiving pleasure, not having any goal of getting to orgasm, or «making it happen» for each other.
Try simply to be fully present with each other from moment to moment. The more the experience can be one of giving to each other, rather than taking something, or getting something, the better the experience will be. On the other hand, if you cannot receive each other’s loving attention, the one giving will be deprived of knowing someone accepts their love. Both must give and receive to make the experience fulfilling and complete.
Go very slowly; surely you will not be in a hurry to end this marvelous exploration of each other! No, go much slower than that, even slower still.
Know it takes the young lady much longer to come to full arousal, while the man may be very quick to finish with an ejaculation that happens in just an instant. But it is likely that he will recover his erection quickly and with a repeat performance is likely to last much longer than the first time.
Open to the possibility that you may awaken your higher consciousness and touch the realm of God and Godess. Don’t be frightened by this, it is your birthright to remember who you really are, much much more than physical bodies. This is the spiritual dimension of the experience.
Be kind, be gentle, be slow, be fully present, be real, be honest, be emotionally transparent, be vulnerable, be creative.